Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Band Of Asians - Broken Hearts Become One

Hear The Track Here

I don't know, maybe you are a bit sick of music at the moment and are thinking of something else to do. Read a good book, I say. always a sure cure for what ails you. Or, short of that, you could spend a couple of days reading through Band Of Asians Soundclick site. Eh? Yep, if you always thought that SC pages are relatively small and self contained, think again. Sorry about this obvious digression but hey, I notice these things OK? Their front page is chock full of quotes, reviews, band bio and photos which is necessary; but then take a look at the reviews page and you are looking at a bottomless pit of text that seemingly goes on forever. Everything associated with this artist has been painstakingly written out, in every aspect. Nothing wrong with that. I happen to believe that self-promotion is a God given right. When, however, you actually HEAR the music all this verbal diarrhea is about, you gotta wonder what all the smoke and mirrors is about.

But hold on, Band of Asians? Why does that name alarm me??

Band Of Asians have joined a very few artists who I have felt obliged (Nay a duty even) to rip a new asshole publicly for the quality of his work. I'm not even sure whether their is a band behind this name right now but I'm going to presume it is all the work of Patrick Lew; the vocalist, guitarist and songwriter. When I reviewed Fobby Asian Girl (August 2007) I was particularly harsh on the extremely sloppy production and performance, and for good reason. The competition, as I keep pointing out, is feirce out here, they will eat you alive unless you have something to offer. Most other reviews I have read about this artist pretty much come to the same conclusions so I hope that Patrick will see that there is nothing personal whatsoever about this. It's about the business we are all here to do; in other words, it's about the music. Sorry if the music really is crap (and Fobby Asian Girl was that and more) then what is the point in gilding the lily?

So, on my second attempt to understand this particular strain of Seattle grunge, I was hoping that this time I would get off lightly.

Broken Hearts Become One is made entirely on computer so I'm not all sure where grunge would play a part, and indeed it doesn't. It would do well to forget about harmony, melody, tempo, drama, atmosphere or plain musical common sense too. Good grief, is there anything left?? After all this is a track that lives over four minutes, what can be taking up all that space? Well, there might or might not be a slice of Patrick's guitar playing in there, so that might kinda/sorta account for the grunge feature. Oh, and about 6 or seven factory sample loops that are used in the most haphazard way possible, none of which has any bearing on any other sample. They also appear to be thrown together in the same manner, gaping silences between supposed sections, brick wall cutoffs and the most preposterous use of an orchestral sample I have ever heard. The sort of track you could put together in an hour or so and it sounds like it too. Band of Asians have surpassed their own already bad record, so at least that's something Patrick can chuckle about.

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